"Trust take years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair."
Have you ever been in a situation where your trust was misplaced or betrayed? You felt that gut wrenching feeling and emotions come flooding so quickly it’s hard to process it all. It’s the literal worst. And we’ve all been there in some form.
How do we create trust? What does trust look like and feel like in our world today? With so many dynamic relationships to navigate, both professionally and personally, here are a few things to consider as you engage with people and build trust:
Lead with curiosity and refrain from judgement
So frequently we react to someone’s story or comment without taking into consideration how the other person may feel. We project what we are feeling on to the other person and assume it’s their reality. Instead of responding with, “ew!”, or “what the heck was that person thinking?!”, or “gross!”, or any iteration of those reactions, try responding with:
“Unpack that for me, I’d love to hear more about that experience.”
“Wow, that is quite the story. How are you feeling about all of this?”
“Thank you for sharing that with me. How can I be a support to you?”
Do you see and feel the difference? When we move our response from reactionary to curiosity our fellow travelers will feel more confident and comfortable sharing portions of their lives with us. We need to move to a place of curiosity instead of judgment, compassion instead of disgust, and love instead of damnation.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say
Keeping your word will increase trust instantly. How often do we tell someone we’ll meet them for lunch and then end up running 10-15 minutes late? I’m totally guilty of that. And you know what? I felt like garbage. Time is the one thing we’ll never get back. I recommitted to being early to places in respect for the other person and to build trust. And you know what? It's working.
Do unexpected things happen? Of course! We need to plan for those things as much as possible.
If we say we’ll be somewhere at a certain time - be there on time. If we tell someone we’ll get a document to them by a certain time - follow through on the timeline. We are human and we need to account for human-ness. Build in buffers and create a system for yourself that you can be the one people turn to, the one that people trust. You’ll be an invaluable gift in your personal and professional life as you say what you mean, and mean what you say.
I love visiting with people from all walks of life. It’s one of my favorite things of life! Learning about a person, their passions, hopes, dreams, failures, defeats - I love it all. What happens when we are chatting with someone, whether digitally or in person, and the conversation derails? Things were misinterpreted or misconstrued and now we’re in a pickle. YIKES!
We need to ask for clarification immediately. 80% of the time we need to give real time feedback. Sometimes we need some space to digest what happened and that’s okay. We must solicit feedback, clarification, or give correction at least 80% of the time.
We are constantly exchanging information with one another. Constantly. Body language, text, email, pictures, story telling, intonations, and the list goes on. It is crucial to ask for clarification in all communication interactions and it will be a turning point of building confidence, trust, and meaningful connection.
The Trust Factor: You. How will you change your habits, behavior, and communication to garner trust from those around you? People believe what you do, not necessarily what you say.
Be curious. Be responsible. Ask for feedback.
You’ve got this.